I first dipped my toe into the Convicts pool on Open Day 2023 – a taster session before the Pathways Program officially starts. I found myself in a situation that many gay men relate to: feeling lonely and needing new social interactions away from the hook-up apps and the dancefloor.

Just before Covid, I had been through a bad break up and during the lockdowns I had to move back in with my family. While life went back to normal after the pandemic, I found all my friends were now in long-term relationships – some with families. I felt isolated and unable to spend as much time with them.

I knew I had to meet new people. I tried finding friends on the apps, but those had an emphasis on dating rather than making friends. This made my loneliness worse. By Mardi Gras Fair Day in 2023 I was determined to find a group to join. The Convicts were that group!

I had recently met someone who played for the Convicts, but I knew little about the club besides that they were the “gay rugby team”.

After signing up, I wasn’t sure if I would go to Open Day. Some people said I was silly to take a risk, and some thought I might be joining too late. But I thought I could give it a go – I’d played a little when I was younger.

My anxiety grew as Open Day approached. Sitting in the car next to the field I was anxious on the verge of tears – going into a new environment where I knew no one was my worst nightmare. All the voices in my head were telling me I would embarrass myself started taking over. Thankfully I managed to climb the stairs to the field, and the rest as they say is history.

Going to Open Day and starting my Convicts journey was one of the most important decisions of my life and has changed my life for the better. Joining Pathways was the last step for me becoming a healthier and better person. I’d started working out, I’d lost twenty kilograms, I’d tackled my mental health head on. All I needed was a social environment to fulfil and support me.

Tommy “Tucker” Bourne, the Pathways coach, runs a ten-week program that helps people like me to develop their skills and to become game-ready. Many of us had next to skill or experience in the game – I could barely catch a ball! After the ten weeks though, I felt confident tackling, catching, running, scrummaging, jumping in a line-out, and playing a full match against my new friends!

If joining the Convicts is something you have thought about doing but you are unsure whether it will be right for you, the Pathways Program is the perfect place to start. You meet new friends, learn basic skills, the rules of the game, and learn how to take and make contact. The improvements we all make over the program are truly impressive. Simply put this is a great way to learn a new sport, to become fitter, and to meet some new friends!

For me, Tucker’s coaching style makes the program so successful. He coaches with empathy and understands that for a lot of us this is brand new, and he sets his expectations appropriate to that. He will encourage you to put in more effort, and he will differentiate the program based on a person’s needs and skills. It is his care and love for us on and off the field, made obvious by how emotional he got when we won our first game at the Bingham Cup in Rome, that I will truly cherish.

In the end…
Sure, you learn new skills.
Sure, you get a bit fitter (some of us, anyway).
But the new friendships and experiences that you do together is what it’s all about. That’s the beauty of a team sport, and it’s something I’d never experienced as an adult.

I’m not sure if I ever will be able to express how thankful I am to the club and the Pathways Program for changing my life.